If you live each day as if it were your last, someday you’ll be right

“If you live each day as if it were your last, someday you’ll be right.”

It’s a year since we lost Simbutu. We miss him every single day. We miss the sound of his barking, We miss his greeting, We miss seeing his happy face. We miss him more than we could ever say.

But what comforts me is that the memory of Simbutu still lives on. And I want to make his memory something that will live on forever and bring positivity, hope and courage into the lives of others just as it has for ourselves.

This pandemic situation gave me the required time and opportunity to draft the memories of Simbutu in the most meaningful way. I can’t wait to share his story with all of you as a book.

A book for all pet lovers that gives life lessons from Simbutu’s point of view, a loving and loyal dog’s point of view! He will tell us how fortunate we are to be humans and how we can make our lives more exciting and empowering.

Though he is not with us physically, he has given us a purpose to create a Pet Community www.simbutu.com / Simbutu which now brings pet lovers, pet parents and animal lovers together.

Here is the story of his last day on the earth, exactly one year back, a story I have narrated from his point of view.

https://lnkd.in/g2gN3tW

 

COVID-19 LOCKDOWN SITUATION – LEARNING TO LOOK AT THE BRIGHTER SIDE OF THINGS

It’s been a few weeks now since Covid-19 has taken Sri Lanka by storm and shaken our tiny island to its core. The virus has left us rightfully worried, panicked and the daily patterns we were so accustomed to in shambles. To top it off, most areas across the island are experiencing curfews and lockdowns, disrupting all the norms that we once took for granted.

Everything sure does look bleak and dreary, what with shops and restaurants closed, schools closed, workplaces shut down and with no prospect of a nice family dinner out or a fun shopping spree. With people stuck at home, governments confused at what to do next and economies crashing, the future doesn’t look too rosy.

But wait a minute, haven’t we learnt that with every calamity that comes, there’s a lesson to be learnt and goodness to be seen? Yes, even with this Covid 19 pandemic sweeping across the globe, there is a sunny side to things and we have to learn to see it .

This Coronavirus has forced all of us, the rich, the poor, the affluent and the needy to stay at home, stay indoors and stay safe. It did feel like a holiday for the first few days, a welcome respite from the daily grind of life. But as the days go by and the future looking increasingly uncertain, staying at home is becoming difficult with every passing hour.

But it doesn’t necessarily have to be that way.

If there’s one thing that this tiny virus has taught us, it is learning to take pleasure in the small things in our everyday life – the things we so often took for granted and the things we always overlooked. It has taught us – or rather – forced us to look and really focus at the normal aspects of life that we ignored for so long.

Every cloud does have a silver lining and I’m beginning to understand its true implications now. Take, for example, the government orders for workplaces and offices to close down and for whomsoever it is possible to work from home, to continue to do so. The time off my hectic work schedule has given me ample opportunities and the freedom of mind to make new plans for my business and also brainstorm innovative ideas for my company. I wouldn’t have been able devote time for this if I didn’t have the time I now enjoy away from work.

Staying home without work doesn’t mean being unproductive at all. We live in a day and age where there are countless possibilities so you need to grab hold and make the most out of it. If the circumstances allow you, work digitally, stay connected with your workplace and your colleagues online and you’ll see what a refreshing change it is to work from home. After all, you’re in a place where you can be at your element and let all those creative juices flow. And that’s precisely how the team at Epitom is working from home at the moment. We may not be connected physically at a workplace, but we are very much digitally connected, thanks to technology so we’re covering pretty much the same workload in a safer and more efficient manner.

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Image: The Pick a Book and Epitom Team, staying indoors, staying safe, staying connected and successfully managing to continue to take the company forward. 

With so much time on my hands, I was also able to get some much needed reading done too. Reading has always been a passion of mine but with work commitments, I wasn’t able to read as much as I would have liked to. Although I always made sure I made the time to squeeze in a book or two with my busy timetable, this curfew situation has given me ample time to read three great books and I have four more lined up on my to-be-read list which I’m really looking forward to.

Plus, with more time on my hands now, I’m finding reading even more enjoyable and more therapeutic than usual. Afterall, reading is the one thing that gives you a sense of escapism during these trying times at home.

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Image: Reading makes sure you fill in those long hours with something that is refreshingly beneficial for both mind and body. 

Speaking of books and reading, Pick A Book is still up and running, albeit in a different mode. Our PAB members together with our new Indian club members are staying connected online, discovering new books, discussing the books read and generally enjoying being part of an amazing book club and reveling in the joy that only literature can bring.

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Image – Session for PAB members in India and Sri Lanka

Another hobby of mine has been rekindled with staying at home during the curfew. Though I’ve always made time for some gardening with my busy schedule, I’ve more time on my hands now to thoroughly enjoy getting my hands in the soil. I’ve found that my gardening sessions these days have been more therapeutic and I’m finding immense joy working with nature. 

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Image: There’s no better way than giving back to Mother Nature, repairing the damage we’ve unconsciously caused by doing our part, even if it’s something as small as doing a bit of gardening. 

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Anyone who knows me knows how much I love my dogs. I enjoy the time bonding with them and pet lovers know how much joy, happiness and fulfillment pets can bring. Plus, there’s no denying the fact that my dogs are overjoyed that I get to spend quality time with them, and the way their eyes light up when they see me makes it all the more worthwhile. Usually, I’m home only after eight and I come all tired and drained out, meaning my dogs didn’t get to spend time with me as much as they or I would like to. Now, with extra time on my hands, I get to spend quality time with my pets – something that both my dogs and I desperately wanted.

Image: Me enjoying the extra time I’ve with my dogs. There are few things that are more rewarding than bonding with your pets. 

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Then, I’ve ticked one more thing off my to-do-list – an all-important one and that is getting back in shape. I’ve got my treadmill all up and working and have a workout schedule in place. We all know how important it is to keep ourselves fit and with me staying at home now, I’m starting to make simple workouts a habit of mine so that once everything is back and running again, I’ll still find time to keep doing my workouts. You don’t need expensive equipment to get fit. Simply going for a walk around your garden, or following a simple workout routine even without any equipment is going to do you a lot of good in the long run.

Image: There’s no better time than now to get into the habit of working out, staying fit and giving your body the care and attention it needs.

I’ve also started honing my mediocre cooking skills. Who knew that cooking could be this fun! I’ve been experimenting with my culinary skills and found that it’s actually quite fun whipping up a dish. Cooking is definitely one thing that I’m going to continue doing once everything is back to normal.

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Another thing this time off work and curfew has given me is the chance to further work on my first book. With more time on my hands, my mind refreshed and with newer perspectives, there’s a great deal of new information on my book. Within the given time period I have written more than 30 pages. Likewise, if you have always had a dream to work on a book or project, then this free time that you have in your hands right now is a treasure that you simply cannot waste. Use this time wisely; you’ll thank yourself later for it.

While it’s true that the worry of where this pandemic will lead to is there, it’s also true that this virus has taught us the value of enjoying the small things in life. There’s really no need to moan about how bored you are or how sitting about listlessly at home is frustrating when there are so many ways you can be productive. There’s no use in sitting around moping at home for things that we have no control over. Instead take this time off and see it as a gold mine from God – a chance for us to live our life truly. Be it gardening, reading or completing some project you’ve always put off, this is the time for you to get going. Use this opportunity to the best of your ability and you’ll notice how productive you can be.

It took a tiny, microscopic virus to bring us to our knees and then lift our heads and see what life truly meant, to learn to enjoy the small, simple things and to value family and friends. It taught us what compassion is, what humanity is. It took a virus to bind our feet and keep us home and truly value the time we spend with our family and to show us where our connections lie. It took a pandemic for us to realize that we have been treating this earth with contempt and it’s time now to learn to heal it and treat it with respect.

So, instead of taking this as a trial, take it as an opportunity to plan. Stay safe, follow the rules and stay indoors, plan the future, and, God willing, we can make it out of this together, having learnt some things that have truly added value and meaning to our lives.

My takeaway from Simon Sinek’s Start With Why – Chapter 8- Emergence of Trust

When we need to recruit someone, we run a newspaper advertisement or an online post mentioning the list of expected qualifications, skills, and other details and expect all the best candidates to apply and join the company. We never recruit people who believe in what we believe in. Sometimes we think we hire passionate people, but the question is whether they are passionate about what we are passionate about? Whether they believe what we believe in?

The best example is the Endurance story when Ernest Schakthelton recruited his 24 men who believed in what he believed in. His advertisement did not say “men needed for an expedition, minimum of five years experience, must know how to hoist the mainsail” etc. It did not even mention “Come and work for a great captain.”

Instead, it went like this.

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A leader might have a great vision, but having the right set of people who believe what the leader believes makes wonders! That’s how any organization can become successful.

This helped me put a lot of things into perspective – Simon Sinek illustrates a very interesting ‘golden circle’ in which he explains why some leaders and companies are capable of inspiring their employees while others cannot. At the very heart of this circle is the question why followed by how and what. This made me understand that while almost every company or leader has a very clear understanding of what they do and how they do it, a lot of people don’t place much value on why they do it.

“People don’t buy what you dothey buy why you do it.

The ‘why’ of why you’re doing something defines success. If you can find an answer to that, it’ll push you towards setting your goals and executing them more effectively. As a leader who influences others, you need to get to the bottom of why you do what you do. This also made me understand the value of communicating with candidates on a more deeper level. And this is precisely why I always ensure that I recruit people who are genuinely interested and passionate in the field they are looking to work in.

For example, whenever I work on recruiting cadidates for Pick A Book, I always put forward the question of whether the candidate is a reader. The reason I do that is because I personally feel that you need to feel connected to the cause you are working for. What is the point of working for an organization that is all about reading when you yourself haven’t picked a book in years. If this happens to be the case, then even the qualifications the candidates bring to the table becomes irrelevant to me.

It is the very same concept I apply when recruiting candidates for Simbutu which is my pet information platform. Since Simbutu is all about pets, the employees I hire should be pet owners or passionate pet lovers themselves. Because as an employee, if you don’t feel connected to the work you are expending time in, then it wouldn’t hold any value to you and if it doesn’t hold any value to you, then you wouldn’t be dedicated in doing what you’re doing.

As Simon Sinek rightfully said to ‘Start with Why’, thanks to this invaluable principle, I can proudly say that I have the best possible teams that are totally dedicated to the platforms they are working in. Since they are passionate about the cause themselves, I can see how it has translated into more efficient results, improved efforts and overall success.

Thank you Simon Sinek for your absolutely amazing tips in your inspiring bestseller!

Suggested Read

  1. Start with why
  2. Find your why

Not everyone right around you.. How to avoid toxic environment?

“People inspire you, or they drain you—pick them wisely.” – Hans F. Hansen

Do you know that old saying about frogs pulling down other frogs to escape a pot of boiling water? As dramatic as this is, this scenario is so true in our lives as well. No matter who you are, there will always be a few people who will try to put you down, make you drown in negativity and force you to doubt yourself. This is what you call ‘toxic people’ and a common rule to go by is to avoid such people whenever and wherever possible.

The quality of your life will always depend on the people you interact with on an everyday basis. Some of them positively influence you while some others can intensify your stress levels and shoot you with negative vibes. According to research from the Department of Biological and Clinical Psychology at Friedrich Schiller University in Germany, it has been concluded that being exposed to stimuli that cause negative emotions can trigger a huge stress response is this is precisely what happens when you’re around toxic people.

Talking about toxic people, who are they and how do you know if you’re surrounded by them? Read the below signs to see if you have toxic people in your life and if that happens to be the case, then carry on reading to know how to deal with such people.

How to recognize toxic people

  1. They cause you to be emotionally affected by their drama and no matter what the situation is, they leave a very negative influence on you when talking about people, situations, etc.
  2. You hate being around them and feel as though you’re stressed around their presence.
  3. You feel insecure and lack self confidence around them.
  4. You feel utterly exhausted when you’re around them or feel angry after your interaction with them
  5. You find yourself in a recurring cycle of trying to fix, rescue or care for them.

So, what can a toxic person do?

  1. They speak negatively about people all the time
  2. They will probably bad mouth about you to others
  3. They will criticize you in front of others
  4. They will play no role in your success
  5. They will trigger your mind against other people
  6. They will expend all their energy in complaining

Phew, these people are a handful, aren’t they? Which brings us to the grand and most important question –

How to avoid and deal with toxic people?

  1. Do not expect them to change – Toxic people are usually motivated by they own complex problems and they generally don’t care about how their behaviour affects others. So, expecting them to change is easier said than done. You can’t force toxic people to change and when you accept the fact that they are not willing to change, it becomes easier on you to let them go.
  2. Maintain boundaries – Toxic people have the power to drain you emotionally by constantly making you feel insecure, leading you to compromise and please them. This can be extremely exhausting and intolerable so when you start sensing anything like this, enforce some personal mental boundaries for yourself so you don’t end up draining unwanted energy on them.
  3. Don’t allow yourself to be pulled into crises – Toxic people can make it seems as though they need you when they find themselves in a crisis.They could even deliberately create drama to attract attention and manipulate others so keep this in mind. Don’t allow yourself to be pulled into their crises.
  4. Focus on the solution – Toxic people will make you feel angry, confused and sad but if you focus on this, you would end up being miserable yourself. Rather, turn your attention to clearing up the emotional challenges you’re facing without dwelling too much over it.
  5. Your weaknesses and difficulties should be yours alone – A toxic person can exploit your flaws and use it against you. You can avoid this from happening by learning to accept your weaknesses and by committing yourself to self-improvement. This way, even when a toxic person tries to highlight your flaws, you wouldn’t be manipulated by it.
  6. Know how to resist – When they feel ignored, toxic people will end up throwing tantrums. When this happens, don’t give in but remind yourself to resist as this will teach them that their old tactics will no longer work with you.
  7. Be wise in choosing your battles – Fights with toxic people requires tons of time and energy. It’s easy to be instigated but choose your battles wisely and save your energy and focus on building relationships that are genuinely healthy for you.
  8. Surround yourself with positive people – Removing toxic people from your life can be painful if they happen to be people you care about in some way. So to allow you to cope with that, be sure to build relationships with those who make you feel loved, happy and safe.

Likability is the art of business networking

Life is all about the relationships that we build with those around us, be it on a personal or business level. This relationship is what helps develop or weaken our network with others. A quote sums this up perfectly – “Our net worth depends not in the wealth we have but the network we have” – and there’s a lot to learn from this. If you reflect on this, it’s easy to understand that networking is basically the way we forge new relationships and finally, it comes down to liking someone or making them like you.

Similarly, business networking is all about cultivating and nurturing relationships. The goal isn’t to connect with others for short term results; rather, the focus should be to build trust and attain mutual benefits through stable, long-term relationships.

From what I have learned, there is a golden rule when it comes to networking and this is in the way you interact with others during any networking event. In such a gathering, try to recognize what people tend to like, identify the characteristics and specialties of the people you meet and learn more about those around you by observing them. While likeability differs from person to person, the basic rule remains pretty much the same. If you want to become a smart networker, then you should make people like you. It’s just that simple.

Or is it?

There are some basic aspects of likeability that can be condensed into a few observations and I’ll be discussing them here:

To be authentic, you have to be focus on simplicity. 

You can never get people to like you if you aren’t true to yourself. If you want to be likeable, you should be genuine and treat people with the same attitude. Learn to help people and approach them without any biases. While everyone will obviously have their own attitudes, beliefs and ideologies, be sure to maintain your own authenticity. Don’t try to be what you’re not – just be who you are.

“The beauty of the law of authenticity is in its simplicity: Don’t try, just be”.

If you can’t be authentic, don’t be there

We have all faced situations where we just had to go to an event although we genuinely didn’t want to. So if you find yourself in a similar spot, then it’s better that you skip such events where you fell you can’t be authentic. A person’s authenticity will become visible when you make choices that you want to or not when you make forced choices. Being genuine is the only way to build meaningful relationships with others.

Consistency and confidence in communication

Let’s face it – talking to something who is fake just makes you want to walk out of the conversation and this is true to everyone. When the body language is not in sync with the words, then it’s hard for others to listen to you. As far as networking is concerned, there are three aspects which will make you more likeable to others. This is also known as the three Vs:

  1. Verbal – The choice of words
  2. Vocal – The tone of your voice
  3. Visual – Your body language

Always remembers these three Vs whenever you’re communicating with anyone. Maintain the same message across your words, tone and body language and this will make you a more genuine individual inside out.

Psychologists have backed this up too. Albert Mehrabian, a psychologist says that a person will like another individual based on 7% verbal, 38% vocal and 55% visual. This naturally means that your choice of words will have no effect if your speech is not backed up with a pleasing tone and body language.

The bottom line is that ‘It’s not in what you say but in howyou say it’.

Being curious is good and asking questions helps maintain good conversations 

Picking up a conversation with a total stranger can be frightful for many people. Even when the silence might feel deafening, we avoid talking if we don’t know what to talk or out of fear of saying something stupid. So if you don’t know what to say but want to break the ice, then show some genuine curiosity about another person in a healthy way.

Asking something about his/her interests, hobbies, likes and so on is a wonderful way to get started on a conversation. However, bear in mind that the effectiveness of your conversation will depend largely on the type of questions you ask. There are two ways of asking:

  1. Asking open ended questions
  2. Asking probing questions

Open ended questions are a great way of starting a conversation. For example, if you’re attending a training program, you could simply ask the person sitting beside you, “Hey, how did you get to know about this program?” This will encourage the other person to give you a response and build a conversation.

On the other hand, if you ask the person sitting next to you, “Did you get to know about this event on the newspapers?”, then he/she would simply say ‘Yes’ or ‘No’ and that would be the end of it. So if you want to hold a conversation, stick to asking open ended questions.

As far as probing questions are concerned, this makes for great follow-ups to the questions you have asked previously. This falls into three categories:

  1. Clarifying questions. For example, “Do you mean….?”
  2. Rational questions. For example, “I’m curious as to why you think that ….?”
  3. Expansion probes. For example, “Please elaborate….

You see, curiosity may have killed the cat, but I can tell it never killed a conversation!

Good conversation is about being a good listener

When speaking about having a conversation, we tend to think about what we should talk most the time. But did you know that having good listening skills can enhance conversations too? As far as business networking is concerned, there are three levels of listening:

  1. Inward listening- This is the basic level of listening where you listen to what the other person says and relate that to your own experience. For instance, if a person tells you, “I love Indian food”, you may answer “Me too!” or “I actually prefer Chinese”.
  2. Outward listening- This is where you relate what you hear to what you know about that particular subject. For example, if someone tells you “I love Indian food”, you could respond by saying, “That’s interesting. Why do you like it? Did you go to any good Indian place recently?” This way, you can hold a prolonged conversation and get to know about the other person’s likes, interests and perspectives.
  3. Intuitive listening- This focuses on not only the words but also the tone, voice, body language and even the energy. When someone tells you that he/she loves Indian food, you could reply in an enthusiastic or genuinely curious way by saying, “You really seem to love it! Thinking of maybe visiting India to try more of their awesome food?

Elaborate on similarities

As social beings, we humans are naturally comforted by what we know and finding similar subjects of interest to talk about will make your partner more comfortable with you. This will enhance their likeability and increase their comfort level with you. This way, the conversation flows without any difficulty.

Motivation is what gets you started. Habit is what keeps you going

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It was five thirty in the morning and I was rudely awakened by the sound of my alarm clock. I knew I had to go the gym, but I was tempted to lie down for a little longer. There were days when I greeted the morning alarm by hitting the snooze button until I eventually postponed the gym but thankfully, I had changed this habit two years back and now, instead of hitting snooze, I start the day by counting down five..four…three..two..one. In fact, I jump off from the bed to go to gym now before I have the time to change my mind.

Being an entrepreneur is pretty much like that. It’s always about learning new things, adapting to new changes and getting used to new habits. And so while I was driving to the gym, I thought of writing my long awaited blog post by adding some of the useful habits I learned over a few year in the hope that it might help some people out there.

 

Habit 1 : Five second rule

This is a simple rule which prevents you from acting on detrimental urges. This rule simply distracts you from your anxieties and redirects your attention to what you should be doing, instead of submitting to instantly gratifying urges. By continually doing this, you can break the negative cycle and create new and better habits. Personally for me, even in terms of dealing with workplace conflicts, irresponsible workforce etc, this rule helps and gives me time to think and react positively to control the environment.

 

Habit 2 : Writing everything you want to do

If you want to reach any goal, write it down as this makes it easier to achieve the goal easily. It’s important that all the goals are very precise. Rather than saying I want money, you should say I want exactly this particular amount to start a business.

Being so specific might sound extreme, but if you want to achieve your goals, you need to know what exactly you want. When I look at my goals for the year 2017, I was very precise about my travel to countries. I had written that I want to travel to four countries and even made a point to mention the countries as well and did the same by visiting India, Vietnam, Cambodia and Singapore. Before 2017, I didn’t get enough chances to travel with my new ventures, but with the new team set up, I wanted to begin my travel diary which I actually did. This will help you to recognize opportunities that will help you to reach your goals.

 

Habit 3 : Give and take

I have met so many people in my life, and we all know people who seem to care only about themselves in business as they completely disregarding the needs of others. They are the takers and they are self-centered by focusing only on what benefits they can get from others. Givers, on the other hand, are driven by the desire to help others and create success in the group.

When I started my own venture, of course the mind always thinks about the business, how to get more clients, how to achieve more sales revenue, how to take clients from competitors and so on and franky, the entire thought circles around focusing on ourselves. By being the part of a global community called BNI (Business Network International), which is based on the philosophy of givers gain, the concept is that when you give business, more business comes around. I started helping others in business without expecting a return. This habit now launched me into opening up the venture in Cambodia and Vietnam by exploring new business opportunities and creating new contacts ad network.

Habit 4 – Not worrying too much about what others think

No matter what path you follow in life and no matter what business you do, there will always be some people who try to make your life more complicated. Or to put it simply, there’s always a jerk in every group.

So how do we deal with this uncomfortable truth? Well, there’s only one thing you can do: accept that jerks will be jerks and deal with them.

When you start worrying about what others think, you are simply losing your real potential. In business or in normal life, there are so many factors that influences a forward move. When you are doing the right things in life, not worrying about what others think is a better way to perform. When our brain starts thinking about others – which is often not something positive – it takes subjective assumption about their thoughts and starts worrying about it. Avoiding this unwanted strain can make your life easy and allow you to move forward towards your goals.

 

Habit 5 – Being radically candid with the staff and coworkers

Being radically candor develops strong and beneficial relationship with your staff members. Running a small organization with a small team requires lots of personal attention towards employees. Knowing them personally well is crucial for any small business success. It is very important to establish personal relationship that proves that you genuinely care. This means opening up, sharing and talking about more than just business. With this, you can always challenge their talent by giving them more responsibility to take risk.

 

Habit 6- Controlled breathing to overcome fear

As entrepreneurs and business owners, we always get a chance to present ourselves in front of a group of decision makers or in front of a larger audience and take tough decisions which creates a fear. But the techniques I follow to overcome my fear whenever I feel something challenging me is that I always take a deep breath which eases out the fear. This is a great technique to overcome anxiety and fear.

 

Habit 7 – At any cost do not point people’s mistakes

Pointing out people mistakes doesn’t encourage them to change their behavior, and it certainly doesn’t help them to learn anything. This is because most people are not primarily driven by reason but rather by emotion.

The person to whom you point out the mistake won’t really listen to what you’re saying because they will feel attacked and their natural reaction will be to immediately defend their own position by fighting back. This will also make others like you less in the long run. Benjamin Franklin claimed that the secret of his success was to “speak ill of no man.”

Pointing out someone’s mistake is easy, but it takes character to be understanding and to forgive others for their mistakes and shortcomings.

 

Habit 8- Show your appreciation frequently

 How can you get someone to do you a favor? You must ensure that they want to do it. And how is that possible? You must motivate the other person with a simple reward: your sincere appreciation.

One of the strongest drivers of human behavior is the desire to be appreciated by others. We all like being complimented and hearing we’re doing a good job.

 

Habit 9 – Forget about arguments

Never tell others they are wrong – whenever you tell they are wrong that will naturally offend them and by telling this, you are basically saying “I’m smarter than you:. Their feelings will be hurt, and they will want to retaliate.

To get the other person to reevaluate their view, it’s much more effective to be humble and open-minded.for example I always use the words “Correct me if I’m wrong”, or “I thought differently but I might be wrong”, etc.

That’s end of part one and all these points I have mentioned are necessarily not the perfect techniques, but during my day to day life, these techniques have helped me to overcome lots of issues and to handle people effectively. Until I finish writing part 2, good bye for now.

“Motivation is what gets you started. Habit is what keeps you going”

ប្រឈមនឹងភាពងងឹត មុននឹងឃើញពន្លឺ


ជីវិត គឺពោរពេញទៅដោយភាពប្រែប្រួល និងការផ្លាស់ប្តូរ រីឯក្នុងអាជីវកម្មក៏មិនខុសគ្នាដែរ។ ជាក់ស្តែង ជីវិតរបស់សហគ្រិន គឺជាផ្លូវធ្វើដំណើរដ៏វែងឆ្ងាយមួយ ហើយមនុសភាគច្រើនយល់ថាជាការលំបាក ទើបត្រូវសំរេចចិត្តបោះបង់ទាំងកណ្តាលផ្លូវ។ រឿងមួយដែលខ្ញុំបានសិក្សា គឺថាការក្លាយជាសហគ្រិនម្នាក់មិនមែនជាភាពងាយស្រួលឡើយ។ ប្រឈមនឹងបញ្ហាជាច្រើន ការបោះបង់គឺរឿងងាយស្រួល ប៉ុន្តែចិត្តមួយនឹងប្រាប់អ្នកថា បរាជ័យគឺជាការចាប់ផ្តើមនៃជីវិតអាជីវកម្ម ដែលមិនគួរឲ្យជឿ។ អាជីវកម្ម គឺថាមពលនៃកំលាំង និងការតស៊ូ សម្រាប់អ្នកដែល​មិនព្រមបោះបង់ ក្នុងស្ថានភាពដែលលំបាកបំផុត។ ជារឿងរ៉ាវនៃអ្នកតស៊ូរស់រាន និងអ្នកឈ្នះ ដែលខ្ញុំគួរដឹង។ ហើយខ្ញុំក៏មានបទពិសោធន៍ផ្ទាល់ខ្លួន នៃរឿងរ៉ាវទាំងពីរ ដើម្បីចែករំលែកដល់អ្នកគ្រប់គ្នាដែរ។

មនុស្សម្នាក់ៗមានក្តីសុបិន្តនិងគោលដៅរបស់ខ្លួន ទៅតាមកាលៈទេសៈ ឱកាស និងព្រេងសំណាង​រៀងៗខ្លួន។ អ្នកខ្លះចង់ធ្វើជាវេជ្ជបណ្ឌិត អ្នកខ្លះចង់ធ្វើជាគ្រូបង្រៀន ឯអ្នកខ្លះទៀតចង់ក្លាយជាគណនេយ្យករ ជាដើម។ តែធ្លាប់សម្គាល់ឃើញទេ តើមានអ្នកណាខ្លះ ដែលចង់ក្លាយទៅជាសហគ្រិន? ក៏ព្រោះតែជំនាញនេះ វាមានការផ្សងព្រេង និងប្រថុយប្រថានខ្លាំង។ ទាំងគណនេយ្យករ ទាំងគ្រូបង្រៀន ទាំងគ្រូពេទ្យសុទ្ធតែអាចដំណើរការនៅក្នុងអាជីពរបស់ពួកគេ។ ចំណែកសហគ្រិនវិញ ម៉េចក៏ត្រូវបោះបង់អាជីវកម្មរបស់ខ្លួនចោល?

ហេតុផលទីមួយ ភាពភ័យខ្លាច នៃការទទួលបានបរាជ័យ។ ដួល ៧ដង ក្រោក ៨ដង នេះជាសុភាសិតដ៏ល្បីរបស់ជប៉ុន ដែលប្រជាជនជប៉ុនរស់នៅពឹងផ្អែកលើឃ្លាមួយនេះ។ ហេតុនេះហើយ បានជាប្រទេសជប៉ុនក្លាយមកជាប្រទេសដែលជោគជ័យ។ បរាជ័យ គឺជាផ្នែកមួយនៃជីវិត បើអ្នកមិនធ្លាប់ជួបបរាជ័យ មានន័យថា អ្នកមិនធ្លាប់សាកអ្វីថ្មី។ បើអ្នកចង់ធ្វើអ្វីខ្លាំង ធ្វើវាទៅ ទុកភាពភ័យខ្លាច និងអសុវត្ថិភាពមួយដុំ ហើយព្យាយាមធ្វើរហូតបានទៅដល់ចំនុចដែលអ្នកចង់បាន។ 

ហេតុផលទីពីរ ភាពភ័យខ្លាច នៃការទទួលរងការរិះគន់អំពីសង្គម។ "តើមានអ្វីកើតឡើងបើខ្ញុំបរាជ័យ?" "តើមានអ្វីកើតឡើងបើទំនាក់ទំនងរបស់ខ្ញុំទាមទារឱ្យខ្ញុំបោះបង់ចោលមុខជំនួញរបស់ខ្ញុំ?" "តើមានអ្វីកើតឡើងបើសិនជាមានអ្នកខ្លះនិយាយថាខ្ញុំនៅក្មេងខ្ចីពេកសម្រាប់ប្រកបអាជីវកម្ម?" ។ សំនួរទាំងអស់នេះ នឹងស្ថិតនៅក្នុងគំនិតរបស់អ្នក ប៉ុន្តែអ្នកត្រូវតែមានភាពរឹងមាំល្មម ដែលអាចនឹងប្រឈមដោះស្រាយវាបាន។

ខ្ញុំចូលចិត្តអានអំពីរឿងរ៉ាវនៃការបំផុសគំនិត ហើយក្នុងចំណោមរឿងរ៉ាវទាំងនោះ ខ្ញុំបានដកស្រង់នូវពាក្យមួយឃ្លាដែលខ្ញុំចូលចិត្ត គឺពាក្យសម្តីមួយឃ្លារបស់លោក Bill Cosby-បាននិយាយថា "ដើម្បីទទួលបានជោគជ័យ បំណងប្រាថ្នារបស់អ្នកដើម្បីទទួលបានភាពជោគជ័យនោះ គួរតែខ្លាំងខ្លាជាងការភ័យខ្លាចរបស់អ្នក នៃការទទួលបានបរាជ័យ" ។ នេះគឺជាគោលគំនិតដែលខ្ញុំយកមកអនុវត្ត​ សម្រាប់ជីវិតការរស់នៅរបស់ខ្ញុំ។ សម្រាប់អ្នកគ្រប់គ្នា ដែលកំពុងធ្វើការតស៊ូដើម្បីបង្កើតកេរ្មិ៍ឈ្មោះល្អនៅក្នុងមុខជំនួញ សូមអានរឿងរ៉ាវរបស់ខ្ញុំ ដែលនិយាយអំពីជីវិតសហគ្រិនរបស់ខ្ញុំ ក្នុងនោះមាននិយាយអំពីបញ្ហាប្រឈមនានា ដែលខ្ញុំធ្លាប់បានប្រឈមមុខ មុនពេលខ្ញុំបានបង្កើតក្រុមហ៊ុនអេប៉ីទប។ https://ragulan.wordpress.com/2011/12/01/life-as-an-entrepreneur/ 
តើវាយ៉ាងណាវិញ ចំពោះអ្នកដែលមិនមានភាពភ័យខ្លាច នៃការទទួលបានបរាជ័យ និងភាពភ័យខ្លាច នៃការទទួលរងការរិះគន់អំពីសង្គម? ចំណែកហេតុផលទី៣ គឺជាការខ្វះមូលធនដើម្បីចាប់ផ្តើមធ្វើអាជីវកម្ម។

យ៉ាងហោចណាស់យើងធ្លាប់បានអាចរឿងមួយ ស្ដីពីក្លាយពីអ្នកក្រតោកយាក ទៅជាអ្នកមាន ឥឡូវនេះខ្ញុំនឹងរៀបរាប់រឿងរ៉ាវបីរបស់មនុស្ស ដែលមានសមតុល្យធនាគារ 0(សូន្យ) ហើយតើពួកគេធ្វើដូចម្តេចទើបក្លាយខ្លួនទៅជាមហាសេដ្ឋីដូចនៅសព្វថ្ងៃនេះ។ យើងមិនចាំបាច់មើលទៅណាឆ្ងាយក្រៅពីប្រទេសដ៏តូច របស់យើងទេ។ H.K Dharmadasa ឬត្រូវបានគេស្គាល់ច្បាស់ថាជា 'Nawaloka Mudalali' ។ គាត់បានចាកចេញពីផ្ទះរបស់គាត់នៅអាយុ13ឆ្នាំ ក្នុងពេលនោះគាត់មានលុយតែ75សេននៅក្នុងហោប៉ៅរបស់គាត់ប៉ុណ្ណោះ ។ សព្វថ្ងៃនេះគាត់ បានក្លាយជាបុគ្គលម្នាក់ក្នុងចំណោមបុគ្គល ដែលមានបុគ្គលិកលក្ខណៈកំពូលក្នុងវិស័យជំនួញក្នុងប្រទេស ហើយគាត់ក៏ជាមនុស្សម្នាក់ក្នុងចំណោមអ្នកគាំទ្រដ៏អស្ចារ្យបំផុតរបស់​ប្រទេសស្រីលង្កាទៀតផង។ ឧទាហរណ៍ជាកស្តែង ដូចជា គាត់បានបង្កើតមន្ទីរពេទ្យឈ្មោះ Nawaloka ហើយសព្វថ្ងៃនេះមន្ទីរពេទ្យនេះប្រែក្លាយទៅជាមន្ទីរពេទ្យមួយ ដែលល្អបំផុតក្នុងប្រទេស។

ឧទាហរណ៍មួយទៀតគឺ Mark Cuban ដែលជាពាណិជ្ជករ និងអ្នកវិនិយោគិនអាមេរិចដ៏ល្បីល្បាញ ដែលជាម្ចាស់នៃ ក្រុមហ៊ុន Dallas Mavericks របស់ NBA និង Magnolia Pictures និងជាប្រធានទូរទស្សន៍ AXS ។ គាត់បានបង្ហោះអត្ថបទមួយ ដែលអាចនឹងធ្វើឱ្យសហគ្រិនរាប់ពាន់នាក់នៅជុំវិញពិភពលោកមានអារម្មណ៍ភ្ញាក់ផ្អើលយ៉ាងខ្លាំង ដោយខ្លឹមសារក្នុងអត្ថបទនោះបានសរសេរថា "វាគឺនៅក្នុងខែវិច្ឆិកា​ដែលត្រូវនឹងកាលបរិច្ឆេទ ពេលនេះ ដោយកាលនោះខ្ញុំមានអាយុ 27 ឆ្នាំ តាមការចងចាំរបស់ខ្ញុំ ពេលនោះខ្ញុំកំពុងសម្លឹងមើលសាច់ប្រាក់ នៅក្នុងគណនេយ្យធនាគារ ដែលមានចំនួន 0 ដុល្លា(សូន្យដុល្លា) នៅលើម៉ាស៊ីនអេធីអឹម ... ​​"

ឧទាហរណ៍ចុងក្រោយ គឺជារឿងរបស់ដេមម៉នចន ដែលជាសហគ្រិនអាមេរិច បុគ្គលិកលក្ខណៈទូរទស្សន៍ អ្នកនិពន្ធ និងអ្នកនិយាយ ដែលគាត់កំពុងរង់ចាំតុនៅភោជនីយដ្ឋានមួយដើម្បីទទួលយកប្រាក់ មុនពេលដែលគាត់ទទួលបានទឹកប្រាក់សុទ្ធចំនួន 300 លានដុល្លារ។

តាមរយៈតួយ៉ាងខាងលើ អ្នកត្រូវយល់ថា កុំឱ្យព្រោះតែកង្វះមូលធន ហើយធ្វើអោយអ្នកត្រូវបញ្ឈប់ជំនួញរបស់ខ្លួន ។ ជាទូទៅអ្នកអាចធ្វើការរៃអង្គាសមូលនិធិពីអ្នកវិនិយោគ ឬមួយអាចចាប់ផ្តើមប្រកបអាជីវកម្មមួយ ដោយគា្មនការ​វិនិយោគ។ ប្រសិនបើអ្នកមានមធ្យោបាយដើម្បីទៅអោយដល់នោះ អ្នកនឹងទៅដល់គោលដៅដែលអ្នកចង់ទៅ។

ចំណែកហេតុផលទី៤ ក្រៅពីការខ្វះមូលធនដើម្បីចាប់ផ្តើមធ្វើអាជីវកម្ម មានមនុស្សដែលមានមូលធនគ្រប់គ្រាន់សម្រាប់ធ្វើការវិនិយោគ ប៉ុន្តែពួកគាត់ក៏នៅតែបោះបង់ចោលក្ដីសុបិន្តរបស់ខ្លួននៅពាក់កណ្តាលទី ការបោះបង់ចោលរបស់ពួកគាត់ ដោយសារពួកគាត់រំពឹងថាការបណ្តាក់ទុនរបស់ពួកគាត់ នឹងទទួលបានលទ្ធផលល្អ​ត្រឡប់មកវិញយ៉ាងឆាប់រហ័ស។ អ្នកត្រូវដឹងថា ការស្ថាបនាសាងសង់អាណាចក្រមួយ វាមិនអាចធ្វើរួចក្នុងរយៈពេលតែមួយយប់បានទេ។ ប៉ុន្តែវាអាចធ្វើទៅបាន ដោយការរៀបឥដ្ឋឡើងម្តងមួយៗ - នោះហើយជារបៀបនៃការសាបនាដើម្បីសាងសង់បានអាណាចក្រមួយ។ មានន័យថាអ្នកត្រូវ​ចំណាយ​ពេល​វេលាក្នុងការស្ថាបនាវាឡើង។ មនុស្សភាគច្រើនរំពឹងថានឹងអាចរកបានប្រាក់រាប់លាន ក្នុងរយៈពេលត្រឹមតែប៉ុន្មានខែប៉ុណ្ណោះ ហើយប្រសិនបើពួកគេមិនអាចរកបានតាមការរំពឹងទុកទេនោះ ពួកគេនឹងបោះបង់ចោលនូវការរំពឹងនោះ។ ភាពជោគជ័យកើតឡើង ការបរាជ័យក៏កើតឡើងដែរ។ ដើម្បីទទួលបានជោគជ័យអ្នកត្រូវតស៊ូនិងអត់ធ្មត់ជាមួយនឹងពេលវេលា​ បន្ទាប់ពីនោះអ្នកនឹងអាចរកប្រាក់បានគ្រប់គ្រាន់ ដែលវានឹងអាចកាត់សងថ្លៃការខូចខាតខុសបំណងទាំងអស់របស់អ្នក។

"ប្រសិនបើអ្នកពិនិត្យមើលអោយបានស៊ីជម្រៅ​ ភាពជោគជ័យក្នុងពេលពេញមួយយប់ភាគច្រើន វាបានចំណាយពេលវេលាយ៉ាងយូរ" ។ - ស្ទីវចបប

ប៉ុន្តែវាជារឿងពិបាកណាស់ ហើយការបោះបង់ចោល គឺជាជម្រើសតែមួយគត់! គំនិតបែបនេះ គឺវាមិនមែនត្រឹមត្រូវទេ។ ត្រូវដឹងថាការលះបង់មិនមែនជាជម្រើសទេ។ ប៉ុន្តែវាក៏អាចជាជម្រើសមួយ សម្រាប់អ្នកដែលបរាជ័យ ព្រោះតែការបោះបង់ចោល។ ពិតណាស់ ជីវិតគឺមានការពិបាក ចំណែកជីវិតរបស់សហគ្រិនក៏ពិបាកដូចគ្នា - ខ្ញុំធ្លាប់ឆ្លងកាត់វា ទើបខ្ញុំដឹងពីវា។ ប៉ុន្តែសូមកុំបោះបង់ចោល ទោះបីវាមើលទៅឃើញថាពិបាកណាស់ - ប៉ុន្តែអ្នកត្រូវរប្រាប់ខ្លួនឯងថា អ្នកមិនអាចបោះបង់ចោលបានទេ ហើយសូមធ្វើឱ្យបំណងប្រាថ្នាដើម្បីទទួលបានភាពជោគជ័យ ជួយជំរុញអ្នករហូតដល់ក្លាយជាអ្នកឈ្នះនៅទីបំផុត។ សូមជឿលើខ្ញុំចុះ ការធ្វើដំណើររបស់អ្នកនឹងមានតម្លៃនៅទីបញ្ចប់។

សូមសម្លឹងមើលបែបនេះ ព្រួញមួយគេអាចបាញ់វាបាន ដោយការទាញវាទៅក្រោយប៉ុណ្ណោះ។ ដូច្នេះនៅពេលដែលជីវិតកំពុងអូសទាញអ្នកឲ្យត្រឡប់មករកការលំបាក គឺវាមានន័យថា វាកំពុងតែរុញច្រានអ្នកទៅរកអ្វីមួយដែលកាន់តែអស្ចារ្យ។ ដូចនេះអ្នកត្រូវតែចេះផ្តោតអារម្មណ៍ និងរក្សាអោយបាននូវគោលដៅរបស់ខ្លួន!

ខ្ញុំដឹងថា នឹងមានពេលវេលាមួយដែលសមតុល្យប្រាក់ក្នុងគណនេយ្យរបស់អ្នក អាចធ្លាក់ចុះដល់លេខសូន្យ ពេលនោះអ្នកនឹងឈឺក្បាលគេងមិនលក់ ទទួលរងការបដិសេធ ប៉ះពាល់ដល់បញ្ហាទំនាក់ទំនង រហូតដល់ការបែកបាក់គ្នា។ ទាំងអស់នេះគឺជារឿងធម្មតានៅក្នុងជីវិតរបស់សហគ្រិនម្នាក់។ មនុស្សជាច្រើនបោះបង់ចោលក្តីសុបិន្តក្នុងមុខជំនួញរបស់ពួកគេដើម្បីរក្សាចំណងមិត្តភាព ប៉ុន្តែអ្វីៗទាំងអស់វានឹងធ្លាក់មកលើអ្នកឥឡូវនេះ - សូមធ្វើការសម្រេចចិត្តដោយប្រើប្រាជ្ញា។

កុំប្រៀបធៀបអាជីវកម្មរបស់អ្នកជាមួយអាជីវកម្មរបស់អ្នកដទៃ។ អ្នកគឺមានតែមួយគត់ ចំណែកអាជីវកម្មរបស់អ្នកក៏ដូច្នេះដែរ សូមកុំធ្វើការប្រៀបធៀបគ្នា។ ព្រោះការធ្វើដំណើររបស់អ្នក សម្រាប់តែខ្លួនអ្នកម្នាក់គត់ ដូចនេះសូមកុំអនុញ្ញាតឱ្យអ្នកដទៃមកបំបាក់ទឹកចិត្តអ្នក។ ទោះបីជាអ្នកមិនមានជំនាញត្រឹមត្រូវក៏ដោយ តែអ្នកនឹងអាចអភិវឌ្ឍវាបានទាន់ពេលវេលា។ អ្វីទាំងអស់នេះ គឺអាចបង្ហាញអំពីជីវិតរបស់សហគ្រិនម្នាក់ ដែល​ត្រូវសម្របខ្លួនទៅនឹងការផ្លាស់ប្តូរ។

ដើម្បីទទួលបានជោគជ័យក្នុងមុខជំនួញរបស់អ្នក អ្នកត្រូវតែមានភាពច្នៃប្រឌិតថ្មី រក្សាទំនាក់ទំនងរឹងមាំ និងទំនាក់ទំនងផ្ទាល់ខ្លួនជាមួយអតិថិជនរបស់អ្នក។ កុំមើលស្រាលលក្ខណៈពិសេសណាមួយនៃអាជីវកម្មរបស់អ្នក។ អ្វីដែលអ្នកឃើញជាទិដ្ឋភាពតូចមួយអាចមានផលប៉ះពាល់យ៉ាងធំធេងចំពោះមុខជំនួញរបស់អ្នក។ វាអាចនឹងមានការសោកស្តាយមួយចំនួន ដែលកើតឡើងនៅក្នុងការធ្វើដំណើរអាជីវកម្មរបស់អ្នកផងដែរ ប៉ុន្តែប្រសិនបើអ្នករស់នៅក្នុងអតីតកាល អ្នកនឹងមិនអាចមើលទៅឃើញអនាគត។ ចូរយកឧបសគ្គទាំងអស់ជាខ្សែកោងសម្រាប់ធ្វើការសិក្សា ហើយត្រូវដឹងថាប្រសិនបើគ្មានការឈឺចាប់ទេ វាក៏គ្មានការចំណេញឡើយ។

ខ្ញុំពិតជាស្រឡាញ់រូបភាពនេះណាស់ ព្រោះវាសង្ខេបពីអ្វីដែលខ្ញុំបាននិយាយនៅទីនេះ អ្នកគ្មានថ្ងៃដឹងថាអ្នកបានចូលទៅកៀកក្បែរភាពជោគជ័យកំរិតណានោះទេ នៅពេលដែលអ្នកបោះបង់ចោល។ និយាយប្រាក់ខ្លួនឯងថា "វាគ្រាន់តែនៅសល់បន្តិចបន្តួចទៀតប៉ុណ្ណោះ" ហើយអ្នកនឹងទៅដល់គោលដៅរបស់ខ្លួន។ សូមបន្តរក្សាការផ្តោតអារម្មណ៍លើគោលដៅ ហើយនឹងមានថ្ងៃមួយ ភាពជោគជ័យដែលអ្នកកំពុងរង់ចាំនឹងក្លាយជារបស់អ្នក។

ពេលខ្លះអ្វីដែលយើងមើលឃើញថា វាជាការជំនុំជម្រះដ៏អាក្រក់បំផុតរបស់យើង បានក្លាយទៅជាអ្វីដែលយើងត្រូវការនៅក្នុងពេលនោះ ដើម្បីជួយយើងអោយក្លាយជាមនុស្សរឹងមាំ និងមនុស្សឆ្លាតវៃជាងមុន។ យើងទាំងអស់គ្នាមានចំណែកនៃបញ្ហារបស់យើងនៅក្នុងក្រុមហ៊ុនរបស់យើង ហើយដោយសារបញ្ហាទាំងអស់នេះ ទើប​យើងបានរីកចម្រើន។ នៅចុងបញ្ចប់នៃជីវិត ជីវិតគឺលំបាកណាស់យើងត្រូវតែទទួលយកវា។ សម្រាប់អ្នកខ្លះប្រហែលជាពិបាកខ្លាំង ហើយវានឹងមានឧបសគ្គជានិច្ច។ អ្នកអាចមើលមនុស្សជោគជ័យរួចហើយឆ្ងល់ថាតើពួកគេអាធ្វើវាបានដូចម្តេច។ ប៉ុន្តែការពិតវាជាញឹកញាប់ ដែលយើងមើលស្រាលសមត្ថភាពរបស់ខ្លួនឯង។ អ្នកក៏អាចមានវានៅក្នុងខ្លួនរបស់អ្នកផងដែរ គ្រាន់តែសូមអោយអ្នកកុំបោះបង់ចោល​។ ឆ្លងកាត់បញ្ហាប្រឈមវានឹងធ្វើអោយអ្នករីកចម្រើន ឆ្លងកាត់រាល់ការសំរេចជ្រើសរើសវានឹងប្រែក្លាយអ្នកអោយទៅជាមនុស្សឆ្លាតវៃជាងមុន ហើយឆ្លងកាត់ឧបសគ្គក្នុងជីវិតវានឹងធ្វើអោយអ្នកកាន់តែរ៉ឹងមាំ។ ជាចុងបញ្ចប់ នៅពេលដែលអ្នកឈានដល់ភាពជោគជ័យ អ្នកនឹងក្រឡេកមកមើលផ្លូវខាងក្រោយដែលអ្នកបានធ្វើដំណើរ  ហើយអ្នកនឹងប្រាប់ខ្លួនឯងដោយមោទនភាព និងស្នាដៃ "គឺខ្ញុំនឹងហើយដែលបានធ្វើវា ហើយ វាមានតម្លៃលើសអ្វីគ្រប់យ៉ាង។
Refer the english version here - https://ragulan.wordpress.com/2016/11/08/face-the-darkness-before-the-dawn/