I was having a chat with a young boy who had completed his A/L’s 2 years back. While in the mentoring process, he was complaining about his parents for not giving proper education whilst not supporting him financially and not guiding properly. He did not stop with that, he continued saying due to his basic education he did not get a proper job with which he is not happy at all. Within a shorter period he has switched few work places and was blaming about his income level. He was not happy with himself either. He is not outgoing and do not have sound English and communication skills as he attended a government school. Further he said his personality is not built enough to network and get socialized with people which resulted in poor achievement of targets and no promotions.
Most of us are in the same mentality, we always blame the circumstance and the people around us. If we didn’t get a good job, we blame the company, if we didn’t get good education we blame the parents, if a project went failure we blame the client, always we BLAME others. We always tend to forget that the real problem is not people and circumstances around us, it is OURSELVES.
We might not have achieved what we expect, income level, relationship goals, educational backgrounds, wealth and properties and much more. It is time to stop for a while and rethink why we have not attracted any of our expectations?Here I have used the word “attracted” instead of “get” is because, in this universe everything is there and we attract what we think. If we think positively we attract the positive ones and vice versa.
Ninety nine percent of all failures comes from the habit of making excuses, says Geroge Washinton. If we have working towards a common goal we have to leave all the above excuses. If you want to succeed and achieve the dreams of your life you have to take the responsibilities and do not blame others for not supporting or hindering.
Take for an example, if something doesn’t turn out as planned, its time to ask yourself “how did I create that?” “what was I thinking” “what were my beliefs” “what do I need to do it differently next time to get the result that I wanted.” Based on Jack Canfield’s Success Principles book, a simple formula of life is given as below:
E+R = O (Event + Response = Outcome).
Every outcome you experience in life is the result of how you responded to the events. If you are not happy with the current situation of your life, you have left with two choices:
- Blame the event for your lack of results – You can blame the economy, lack of education, weather, parents, life partners, boss, friends, relatives so and so forth.
- Change the responses to the events. Respond in a way that ultimately gives you the outcome you wanted. Change your thinking, change the inner imagination, change your behavior and gradually the results will change.
If you keep doing what you have always been doing, you will keep on getting what you have always getting. If your thoughts are so negative, its time to look for new set of people who can motivate you or new place that energizes you. If you are failing in exams now its time to increase the time and practice. If your business is not performing well, its time to re-look at the strategy you have got.
Jack Canfield says continuing the same behavior and expecting different results will not happen. If you are an alcoholic, and you keep drinking, your life is not going to get better. The day you change your response is the day your life will begin to get better. If you want something different, you have to do something totally different.
If you are not happy with your current income level, its time to look for alternative ways of earning income. If you are not happy with the current work place, search for a better one. If your parents didn’t give you proper education, its your time to seek by yourself. Remember worrying about the past and current will destroy your future.
Imagination is everything and all your today’s action will become tomorrow’s events.
- Stop blaming others and events
- Stop complaining about what you have got / attracted
- Pay attention, the results don’t lie
Ragulan Tharmakulasingam 